Before you read: I wrote this at 2am after an unbelievably stressful few weeks, and an emotionally draining day. This rantings likely isn't going to be eloquent or logical, but I need to get them out of my head.
It alway happens to other people.
Someone else's brother gets sick; someone else's mom has a heart attack; christ, someone else's friend gets hit by a friggen bus, . It's always someone else.
You see the post on Facebook one morning from someone who used to be a friend who's sick, or a post by an acquaintance, who's family member was hurt in an accident. No matter who you are, these generic situations are probably triggering memories of people from your life. Whether we grew up in Elmira together and this reminds you of about 10 different people, or you're a stranger from Australia, whose eyes prickle at the memory of posting about your own family member, it's an experience relevant to everyone.
It always happens the same way too. You see the post, and your heart skips a beat. You feel awful for them! You pray that they get better, heal quickly, or find peace soon; you might comment or share the post; you may bring food, donate money, or send a card; but all the while, in the back of your head you think Thank God it wasn't me.
But eventually, maybe after a day, a week or even a month, your life returns to normal. You get back in the swing of your own business. You text your friend every day to see how their family's doing, you message your aunt to see if her friend wants more lasagna, you stop by Mrs. Down-The-Block to see how she's healing after surgery, and for you, life moves on; but all the while, in the back of your head you think Thank God it's never my family.
And you start to get older. You see other people creating families, as you continue on your life. You see people have lost a family member, as you scroll Facebook on the bus, you sit in class and hear that the girl four desks over went home to bury her best friend; but all the while, in the back of your head you think Thank God it isn't my friends.
And then one day the clock freezes. Your friend calls you during bible study to tell you that your friend hung himself. You check your phone during rehearsal to find that the neighbour boy is in a coma. You're sitting in class when your friend messages you and says one of the guys in your squad has cancer.
And finally, you wake up and realise that this time, it's not someone else's people. This time, it's your people, and now your world has stopped.
